What to read after Gaslighting?

Do you always feel the need to apologise in your relationship? Does it make you anxious?

Are you led to believe that you’re crazy?

Do you know someone who has the power to make you feel guilty, trapped and confused?

Gaslighting is a form of emotional abuse that occurs in abusive relationships. It’s the act of manipulating a person by forcing them to question their thoughts, memories, and the events that occur around them. A victim of gaslighting can be pushed so far that they question their own sanity.

Gaslighting can happen in many types of relationship, including those with bosses, friends and parents; but probably the most devastating form of gaslighting is when it occurs in a relationship between a couple.

Have you been led to believe that you’re crazy by someone who is, in fact, crazy?

People who gaslight become experts in pushing your buttons. They know your sensitivities and vulnerabilities and use that knowledge against you. They make you doubt yourself, your judgment, your memory and even your sanity.

Examples include:

- I never said that! That’s not even something I would say!

- It breaks my heart to hear that you actually think that I intended to hurt you.

- I don’t know what’s wrong with you. Maybe it’s because your mum and dad and sister all died. There’s something broken inside you.

- I don’t know why you insist on relating to the person you say I am when I’m clearly not that person.

- If anyone is abusive in this relationship it’s you! You hit me once. Have I ever hit you?

- You’re ruining the family by not following my lead.

- Maybe you do need to get on some medication after all!

- You’re too emotional.

- What’s wrong with you, you always need to fight, don’t you? You just can’t be happy!

- I don’t know who you think you’re relating to, but that guy you describe as me is not me.

- You have no respect for what is right! Don’t talk to me about right and wrong!

- I don’t understand if it’s a comprehension problem with you or you’re just playing dumb.

- Wait, wait, wait… You’re not trying to say that (…), are you?”

- I’ve done everything for you and you treat me like a piece of sh*t!

Do any of these phrases sound familiar to you?

The examples are endless.

My clients often ask me:

- What is it that turns people into gaslighters?

- What is a gaslighter personality?

- Why does a narcissist gaslight?

- What are some common gaslighting techniques?

- What are some steps you can take if you are being gaslighted?

- How do you know if you are a victim of emotional abuse by gaslighting?

- How do you deal with a gaslighter?

- How should I respond a gaslighter’s mind games?

- Can I get out of this nightmare?

- How can I find myself again?

- How can I recover after years of power games, control and manipulation?

In the book I will answer all these questions in full, along with providing further information. The book is written deliberately in an approachable and easy to understand way and never makes you feel embarrassed or judged.

Remember: YOU ARE worthy of love. You deserve respect, a special person who loves you, a person to grow old with and share all the obstacles and triumphs of life.

The topics and concepts described in this book are functional and practical and will have a direct impact on your life, both in romantic and non-romantic relationships. You don't need to be an expert on the subject; just take a deep breath, relax that knot in your stomach and grab this book!